"Omifuxor!" eye think 2 myself, with my legs hanging over a hammock,
swinging lazily over the emerald green ripples of
the Hotlantic ocean. "Eye KNEW eye 4got something!"

That something, of course, is my January installation 4 Damn!

Eye'm in the Bahamas & it's a 3rd whirled country & Internet
access ISN'T. Eye don't miss my cell phone AT ALL (well, ok,
may B just those L8 night marathons with aspecialkid) but
damn, eye'm jonesing 4 my DSL.

Some 1 once asked a gypsy like me, "How would U D fine 'home'?"

Home is where eye can jack in 2 my DSL.

So yeah, although the Bahamas ARE all that & a bag of chips (& what goes bettar with Fysche than Chips?) eye don't think eye could evar call this place home...although it's not bad 4 a 3rd whirled country, where every 1 drives on the wrong side of the road with no speed limits...

(pedestrians here R considered 2 have a death wish)
My definition of "NOT BAD":

- port pick-up via Mercedes
- picking coconuts off the trees & drinking them immediately
- a plush, pink, 11 room villa right on the ocean
- sharing that posh villa with 2 men, 1 teenaged boy, 1 3year old boy, 2 women, 3 cats including my superstar Bloe, 1 beagle, 14(!) chihauhaus, 2 cockatiels, 14 lovebirds, 1 parrot & 2 peacocks
- 80 degree weather...Christmas shopping in vinyl shorts & a bikini
- who needs a pool when we R right on the ocean...but we have 1 N E way
- cable & all payperview 4 free (no American regulations!)
- lots of free time 2 do nothing but X ercise or
- go fishing (eye always let the fishies go & kiss them b4 tossing them back in, 2).

We B gin our day with yoga on the dock. It's very "Dawson's Creek".
Our villa is right off 1 of the channels off the Atlantic;
'Silver Palm' 2 B X act, with a dock & a boat & a catamaran at the end of it.

So Tina ( & eye do yoga in the morning and then we walk 2 Port Lucaya, which is about 2 miles away methinx; & go shop in the marketplace (which reminds me of a cross B tween Ensenada & St. Tropez), and then hang out at 1 of the beaches (which looks like N E paradise postcard), my favor8 beach B ing "Billie's", where U can get fresh conch salad (the poor little creatures R still in the shell), and lots of cocaine.

Cocaine comes from my friend James. Well, eye dunno if he's real E a friend; he's just a Bahamian who gives me free bumps of the purest white, if eye flash him my G string.


James tells me eye'd never have 2 pay 4 the stuff...
as if eye ever.
He tells me if eye let him eat my pineapple he'd give me an 8 ball 4 free
& eye wouldn't even have 2 do N E thing 2 him.

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January 2003

jay's head
josh ring