Don't Puss Out on the Rock, p. 3

As the conscientious reader may note, rock songs don't rock once they've been softened and safetied. Just like the rave scene is about more than big pants and lollypops - it's supposed to be about peace, love, unity and respect -- rock songs are about more than just the word 'rock.' Underneath the music is an ethic of not pussying out from the dangers and challenges of living a rocking lifestyle. Rocking is about throwing caution to the wind - falling in love at first sight, running off to Paris if the mood strikes, flying down the thruway with the top down and the radio on. It's about not caring if your ass is out and there's a schoolbus approaching. The rock rocks.

(And by rock, I mean any song about hard core stuff. "Eternal Flame" may not have the driving riffs of "Crazy Train" but it's about feeling and intensity and oomph. It rocks.)

Friends, we must not let the rock get corrupted by precaution! We need to cherish the mantra of "If it feels good, do it" as opposed to "If it feels good, do it but make sure you're doing it safely." Fuck safety, yo. If I'm forced to deal with a fucking orange-level terrorism threat, then I say Down with safety and up with the rock. I'd rather be waiting for my man than waiting for my therapy appointment and I'd rather act with abandon than with caution. Don't be seduced by rock songs that restrict fun with safety precautions - it used to be that all Sheryl wanted to do was have some fun, whatever the consequences. If there ever was a time for that, it's now.

So, take part of Sheryl's advice - go and soak up the sun. Everyone should lighten up. But don't worry about sunburn. Put on your mom's "Louie Louie" 45 and throw away your Glock. Kiss a stranger in bar. Go dancing in a fountain. Stop wearing socks. Eat some french fries. Stop watching the skies. Stop watching CNN. Stop worrying. Lighten up. Soak up the sun. Let's go rock on.

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Bex Schwartz, music editor of Zeek, is a writer and musician who works for VH-1.

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